Miss · Fae's · Adversaria

2011 was a monumental year for me. The last year of my 20s, opening a community art space, mail art 365, and travel in 5 countries--new zealand, singapore, australia, japan, thailand. My resolutions were creativity, vulnerability and circus. I feel i did pretty ok on the first two, but the third one still needs a great deal of work.

From Boxing day 2010 to Boxing day 2011, I made a piece of mail art every day. I don't know another time in my life when I did something creative everyday for such an extended period of time. Now, in the new year, I feel that I need to find another way of sustaining creativity and motivation. Maybe once the jetlag and head cold disappear.... anyway, here's the year in review!


January

Keeli moved to nz and stayed with us in our tiny house all month. We all had lots of adventures. Moira & i found our new living space, and I started to bake lots of bread. I volunteered once a week for Ooooby in exchange for a box of vegetables.

February


We packed up all our things and I made more bread. also, cookie faery and lantern festival. Wrote reviews for Auckland Fringe Festival.

March


moved into alphabet city, started to make a home and an art space. i went to the bay of islands and flew in a tiny plane. keeli moved back in after several weeks away.

April

more set up, new press materials, lots of yummy food baked.

May

Melbourne and Rotorua. Came back from MEL feeling down on Auckland and started to get the winter blues big time. Our house is really drafty and I was not prepared for what winter would be like in NZ, esp. when looking/reading/seeing so much fun happening in my American friends' spring and summer

June


We opened! and yet, i was really sad and lonely. Winter was hitting me hard.

July


Zine library, newspaper articles, zine fest events, and kitty kitty meow meow, our first foster kitty. I think this was the month Keeli moved to Hamilton. I started to work for pay for Ooooby, who i had just been volunteering for, previously.

August



We went to Thailand and briefly, to singapore. I was still lonely in NZ, but feeling better about it after knowing that travel was a real possibility and a way for me to feel less isolated. Really enjoyed spending quality holiday time with my girlfriend. 2 year anniversary.

September

warmer weather meant feeling better about Auckland and getting excited about new things, new friends, rugby world cup. Cooked more and more Thai food. Spent a lot of time missing nevers

October

Bought tUnE-yArDs tickets (was totally obsessed with band all year long) and our house was set on fire. Reading more and more books. I learned some new things and we got a new foster kitty (who, for better or worse, I haven't bonded with as much as kitty kitty meow meow)

November


turned 30, out of town guests, art auction to raise money for my immigration, met john waters, letterpress printing projects

December

letterpress printing, xmas tree, and both Moira and I quit our jobs (she has a new job, i don't yet). Oh, and surprise trip to Tokyo! $600 NZD (about $450USD) RT tickets showed up on the 15th, with set dates of the 21 or 22 - 31. We (+ keeli) jumped at the opportunity.

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as always, more evidence available on flickr

Leaving in a week for Tokyo!

Someone listed a school desk on freecycle recently. And I didn't go after it. The next morning, I regretted it because it was gone. I had spent the time before checking the board imagining moving things around in the bedroom so that I could have a space upstairs to write letters/journal and maybe sew this or that. Right now, when I imagine sewing, I imagine doing it in our lounge.

But the lounge? Well, it's actually too cold to spend time in it at the moment. This building is old and drafty wood, lots of ways for the cold air to get in. Outside, it's warming up quite a bit. I picked cherry blossoms off of a tree in the domain and put them in an Agee jar on the kitchen windowsill. Imagine this: the upward curve of a branch and a morning cup of coffee.

But back to this desk....because it took me somewhere else. It took me back to a corner of a brooklyn apartment where no one I know currently lives. And then somewhere else. Then somewhere else. And then the memory of an idea of tattoos that you smell not see. (hauntings? memories? connect-the-dots)

These are all fragments of bigger thoughts. I need a space in my room where I can have a chair and my journal waiting. I feel myself overflowing, and then emptying out onto nothing--these ideas and rambles (bushes, brambles) end up no where. I want thoughts for myself and my papers. These thoughts can then turn into art and creation and upsdiedown motions. I feel like all is connected and all is needed.

I'll keep watching freecycle. Something will surely come up again.

Last you heard from me, I was thinking about kindness and spending my summer in San Francisco. I was there because I wanted to help enable feminist porn stars and queer spaces, and I did just that. I also made some new friends and some new zines*. I ate lots of yummy food and visited PDX. I got to see most of my favorite people and renew some brilliant perfect friendships. Oh, and the printmaking. Falling in love with printmaking again practically broke my heart.
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And then I MOVED TO NEW ZEALAND. I've been here nearly two months and drink a lot of really amazing coffee. Also, exploring, reaching, trying, loving.

Beach at Mount Maunganui from dollish on Vimeo.
(watch this video, please)

*info on new zines coming soon.

My friend A. is amazing. She never picks on anyone. I think she’s the only person I know with this quality. I’m trying to pick it up for myself. This particular character trait. It’s hard though. After so many decades of being teased, I started to tease, myself. I never thought that would be something that I do, and to be honest, I don’t do it well. I sometimes can say hurtful things without meaning to, and I hate it. I’m trying to cut out most teasing. Maybe I need an affirmation or something to remind me on a daily basis. Esp. in the face of being teased myself. I know that people tease each other, even as adults. I find it so stresstful. I’m not always good at deciphering when someone is playing from cruelty.

This week I feel like I am hemorrhaging money. Picking up this and that, taking advantage of craft fairs and online sales. It’s hard for me, always a saver and a hoarder, to let go of things, even currency.

This summer, is all about drawing boundaries, suspension, queer porn stars, trying to learn to draw from a less than adequate class, reforming friendships, appreciating the ones that are stronger than ever, love, writing projects and falling in love with printmaking all over again.

Favorite thing: Weekly talks with nevers

My camera broke over a month ago. Life hasn't been the same. A new one should arrive this week.

I’m trying to start a few new projects. Sometimes I feel bursts of inspiration when I’m out, but in front of my computer, I have some white pagescreen syndrome.

Today, I just feel sick. I still have mono and I’m on the verge of a really bad relapse. The stress is making me ill. My body is not the body i know so well. The muscles have receded. If I am not careful, I will get very sick again.

Also, Veda Hille and Sleater-Kinney.



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